Demystifying the Couch: A Therapist’s Guide to What Actually Happens in the Room
Since the start of the new year, I’ve noticed a surge in people searching for a therapist, many for the first time ever. For a newcomer, this can be an intimidating experience, often leaving you with more questions than answers.
I believe part of a therapist’s job is to help demystify therapy altogether. Since all the work is confidential and individually driven, there appears to be no consensus on what to expect. Unlike a dentist or a GP, most people have no mental blueprint of what therapy will be like. And with the experience being so unique to each person, it can even be difficult to rely on other people’s stories.
Like many therapists, I work in a very client-centered way, meaning I work with my clients during the appointments rather than as the one who runs them, so there isn’t a script I can give you to prepare. However, this doesn’t mean the experience is totally unpredictable. There are certain aspects of the therapeutic relationship that are (hopefully) universal.
Today, I want to help you understand a bit more about what therapy is and why it matters. Hopefully, it’ll also take away some of the mystery around therapy.
What is therapy?
It’s a big question. Despite the rise of TherapyTok and mental health content creators, a certain air of mystique still surrounds the profession. Because the work happens behind closed doors, it can feel shrouded in secrecy.
At its core, therapy is something you feel (emotionally and even physically); it rarely leads to one single, shiny final result. It’s a process that is rooted in collaboration, safety, and shared goals and ideals. It’s about finding comfort in the discomfort, and giving your emotions and internal landscape the freedom to be explored.
I’m completely aware of how ‘foofoo’ this all may sound. Even I, a trained therapist working in the field full-time since 2019, sometimes have moments where I think “What even is this job? What is therapy? Is this helpful?” So, you can trust me when I say the skepticism doesn’t fall on deaf ears and, to be quite frank, it is fair to feel. The idea of walking into an office and sharing your innermost secrets with a complete stranger sounds a bit mad, doesn’t it?
But, it works. And it works for a reason.
Why therapy works
One of the biggest contributors to therapeutic ‘success’ is the connection and relationship between the therapist and the client. When there is a secure attachment and a feeling of safety within the relationship, clients are more likely to open up and share with their therapists. Often, when a new client comes to work with me, I’m giving them the first safe environment they’ve ever had. This ‘simple’ truth cannot go unnoticed. Therapy only works when the relationship works.
Beyond this, there are many approaches and techniques we use. While I could explain the dozens of approaches therapists may align with or bring in inspiration from, you’d likely get bored and click away. So, to spare you the technical jargon and unnecessary details, let’s just say this: It is the therapist’s responsibility to explain their chosen modality and how it works, and your only responsibility is to know you can ask.
What does therapy do for you?
This is one of the most common questions I’m asked by others when they find out what I do for a living (and it’s asked almost exclusively by people who have never been in therapy), which I find nearly impossible to answer. How can you answer how talking helps if t” if the other person has never experienced it?
Here’s the TLDR of how I explain what therapy does for people:
Therapy works because it’s in our human nature; we are deeply social and interconnected beings. I offer a space for people to connect with another person, free from the distractions of the outside world and without fear of rejection.
I offer validation that many people have never experienced in their lives; a listening ear when they have no one to turn to. I celebrate your wins and mourn your losses with you. I use my nervous system to help you co-regulate so you feel safe and secure. I offer a physical space of safety and security, without judgment or risk.
The non-’foofoo’ answer? Therapy offers validation, self-exploration, symptom reduction, reconnecting with yourself and others, building resiliency, understanding your triggers, processing trauma, understanding your internal (emotional) landscape, self-acceptance and understanding, emotional regulation, and much, much more.
What you can expect when you start therapy with us.
While I can’t speak to how all therapists work when starting therapy, I can offer a clear explanation of what you can expect if you were to become a client with us at TwO.
The Initial Contact: This is often the hardest step. You can share as much or as little as you would like. We don’t expect your whole life story in the first email; we just want to be sure we match you with the right therapist. To help, we’ve included a simple dropdown list of all of our therapists so you can choose who resonates with you. And if you can’t decide? No problem! Our team will help you find the best possible fit.
The 24-Hour Turnaround: You’ll hear from us within 24 hours, or slightly longer if you reach out to us on a weekend! I know the wait can be difficult, so our team makes every effort to respond to all inquiries as quickly as possible.
Free 30-Minute Consultation: Yes, you read that right. A free 30-minute session with the therapist of your choice. This is the gold standard practice as TwO. We provide these consultations with no strings attached for two reasons: so you can see if you feel comfortable and so the therapist can ensure they have the specific skills to help you reach your goals.
After that, the ball is in your court. If you want to move forward, we’ll set up an intake appointment. From there, the process is built collaboratively by you and your therapist.
Ready to mee the team? Click here to learn more about our therapists and their unique approaches!
